So I’m back from my pop-culture saturated spring break which involved polishing off season one of Dexter (excellent), watching No Country For Old Man—twice, and reading essays by Chuck Klosterman ranging from the fascinating to the annoying to the disconcerting. It was fun and I’m sure I’ll blog about all of these lovely things at some point but today I’m blogging about a much more pressing matter: CBS’s attempt to scare the crap out of me with the most terrifying movie trailer in all the land.
There I was back in my apartment after a lovely vacation relaxing, reading my Entertainment Weekly half listening to Dexter on CBS (I wanted to see how ridiculous Deb would sound edited) when out of nowhere comes this trailer. You see I like to watch movie trailers, I love that nice movie man announcer’s voice, I like to mock the often crappy music choices, they are second only to those Tide talking stain ads in terms of my personal commercial hierarchy (bottom tier: those damn Pepperidge Farms Go Meat commercials---those ad men are going to the special hell). So I pepped up when I noticed the beginning strains of what I assumed would be a short ad for some crappy creep fest that would give me a good chuckle before bed. Instead I was treated to Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler being all flirty and “let’s make dinner honey”. What’s so scary about…hey what’s that thing in the corner? Is that a mask? Turn around Liv Tyler, for the love of God turn around!
Things just got worse from there. There were messages (Hello! Hi! Hello!) scrawled on their mirror. There was an ax. An ax, people. Then it turned out it wasn’t just one homicidal maniac but a whole family of homicidal maniacs including a tiny little ax wielding creepy kid. At this point I was a whimpering mess, but the ad continued. Because apparently 30 seconds of traumatizing me just wasn’t enough. No from there they gleefully announce this story was inspired by actual events. By “actual events” I hope they mean some nice young couple heard strange noises and assumed there was an ax wielding maniac but really it was just some rascally raccoons, but hey wouldn’t that make a great horror movie?
The end result: I had actual, honest to God nightmares. Yes I realize I am a wuss, but I very rarely have actual nightmares. In short: thanks a lot CBS. Just because I’m watching a show about serial killers doesn’t mean I want to see an ad about crazy ass ax murderers who hang out in your new house waiting to kill you dead.
I tried to research the whole “actual events” angle but once I reached the official site I started screaming like a little girl and frantically hit my computer’s back button. I’m just going to stick with the raccoon angle. If you too would like to be freaked out check out the film over at http://www.imdb.com/ ---The Strangers. I have no plans on ever actually seeing this film and I’m sure I’ll spend the next couple of months living in fear of being caught off guard by the trailer, but I have to hand it to them this seems like a legitimately scary film opposed to a disgusting film ala the Saw franchise. Which is something, I guess. Just keep that creepy kid away from me, okay?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment